.Issue 9, November 2001

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Dear [[Name]],

Welcome to the November issue of the Back off newsletter as we move ever closer to the end of the year. As always a special welcome to the many subscribers who have come onboard over the past month.
Following last month's article on motivation we received some really positive feed back and it seems that the topic was a fairly relative one for the time. With this in mind I have decided to follow-up with an article outlining keys to succeeding along with some tips for converting fear into power.

I find that in my own life, both business and personal, there are times when you need to dig a little deeper to keep yourself focused and motivated. I often say during my seminars that the keys to succeeding in self-protection are no different to those required to succeed in all other aspects of your life, so I hope that you can look to apply these keys on a day to day basis. You may want to read back through last month's article on motivation that compliments this month's information on achieving success.

We have had a bit of a revamp of our 'Archive' link on our web site www.winningedgestrategies.com.au so take a look around and read through the articles that are of interest to you.
Thanks again for your ongoing support to this publication and I trust that you find this month's issue of Back Off an enjoyable and motivational read.


Thanks for your support.
Take care, your friend


QUOTE OF THE MONTH
'The key to my success was the moment that I realised my body can only achieve what my mind can perceive.'
- Kirsty Marshall
World Aerial Skiing Champion
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KEYS TO SUCCESS

Once we have the ability to control the way we think we have the ability to control any situation we are confronted with. I have said all along that the keys to succeeding in self protection are the same as the keys to succeeding in anything in life, let us now look at what these keys are:

FIRST KEY
The first key to success is having a goal. You must have a goal in mind in order to achieve anything.

SECOND KEY
Secondly, once the goal is established, you must have knowledge of how to achieve the goal. This knowledge leads use to the third key to success.

THIRD KEY
The third key is having the belief in your ability to achieve the goal. Once you have the knowledge to achieve the goal and you believe in your ability to achieve it you create the fourth and final key to success.

FOURTH KEY
The final key is motivation. With a goal in mind, knowledge of how to achieve it, belief in your ability to succeed and the motivation to win you can take control of whatever life throws at you. Remember, what life throws at you is not important, what is important is what you throw back at life!

Imagine you are walking alone down a suburban street when out of the blue a car pulls up and suddenly a guy jumps out and grabs you. We will presume his intention is to abduct and rape you. Let's apply the four keys to success to this situation. Your goal is obviously to get away from the guy, your knowledge tells you to yell at the top of your voice and physically repel him. You believe you have the ability to do what is required and, most importantly, you are motivated to succeed.

If your motivation to get away is greater than the offender's is to get you into the car, you will win. Never lose sight of the fact that the offender has selected you with the 100% belief that you will be so scared of him you will just freeze and offer little or no resistance. I have personally spoken to many women who have been in this type of confrontation and have effectively taken control by simply being more focused and more motivated than the offender.

This example not only highlights the importance of having a positive state of mind in a conflict situation but also the fact that self protection is very much a mental issue rather than a physical one. In fact the physical act of self-defence is not difficult once the mind is focused to succeed.

In summary, the ability to convert fear into power is the first step in effective self-protection. By recognising that fear is not caused by the situation, but rather by how we think in the situation, we can see it is essential to have a positive, focused mindset going into any confrontation. Once we are aware of this we start to fully appreciate the importance of having belief in our ability and what creates it. This then leads us to the all-important ingredient of success- motivation. With motivation we can take control of any situation we are confronted with, for as they say- life is made up of 10% what happens to you and 90% how you think about what happens to you.

The following steps are extremely effective in converting fear into power in both day to day and potentially confrontational situations. I would encourage you to try them the next time you feel nervous or apprehensive about your ability to take control:

· STEP ONE - be aware of how you are feeling. Get in touch with what your body is telling you.

· STEP TWO- ask yourself, "Why do I feel like This?" Really question yourself as to why you are feeling the way you are.

· STEP THREE - Recognise the fear for what it is. Your mind navigates your body, if you think it you feel it. If you think you have to be afraid your mind simply accepts the message and tells the rest of the body how to feel.

· STEP FOUR - Change the message, change your mindset. Tell yourself that you are not afraid, you are in control. Motivate yourself to reject the negative and accept the positive. Mentally coach yourself to be positive. I am in control, I am confident and will succeed.

· STEP FIVE - Feel the power. The moment you tell yourself you are not afraid but that you are confident and in control I guarantee you will convert your feelings of fear into power. This process works because what you think determines what you feel and what you feel determines your attitude and your attitude determines the outcome of every situation you are confronted with.

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FACT Vs FIB

FIB - It is quite common for sex offenders to kill their victims.

FACT - This is certainly not the case. In fact it is extremely rare for a sex offender to kill his victim following a sexual assault. I'm not suggesting that it never happens, however, in Australia I would suggest that you would need as many as 10 000 rapes committed for every one victim murdered. The offender who goes to this extreme is more than likely a psychopathic offender who make up an extremely small percentage of the total rapist population. One other finding in major studies into sexual homicide shows that the reaction of the victim to the offender does not increase the likelihood of being killed. It is a myth to suggest that women who fight back increase the chance of being killed by the offender. It appears that this type of offender premeditate taking the victims life prior to making contact with them.

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Q & A FROM YOU THE CREW

Q. What if I find myself in a conflict situation and I just freeze and don't know what to do?

A. The reason we freeze in any type of situation is because we are unable to answer the key question asked at the onset of the confrontation - 'what do I have to do to get out of this?' If we go into a situation with the knowledge of how to get out of it the chance of 'freezing' is decreased dramatically. Remember - it's not the situation that causes us to freeze - but the way we are thinking in the situation.

Q. If I do physically defend myself in a confrontation is there any chance of me being charged with assault?

A. No, not in my experience. Under the law if you feel genuine fear for your safety, or for the safety of someone else, you are entitled to use whatever force is reasonable and necessary. I cannot recall ever hearing of a case of a woman being charged as a result of defending herself in any type of confrontation against a male.

KEEP IT UNDER YOUR HAT
In a major study conducted throughout Australia a few years ago it was found that if a sexual offender was arrested at the age of 18 he would have accumulated 10-15 victims. If a sex offender was not arrested until he was 21 he would have accumulated 350-450 victims! Although not all of these would be victims of a sexual crime, (this type of offender commits other crimes such as burglary and theft), it is still a rather disturbing statistic.

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JUST A THOUGHT
MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW CLOSE TO SUCCESS THEY ARE WHEN THEY GIVE UP.
It is no coincidence that most people give up in a marathon at around the 30-kilometre mark. It is at about this stage that most runners hit what they call 'The Wall'. The wall represents that stage in every journey where you think that you have reached the point where you simply cannot go any further. For most this will be the time to quit. But those like Philippides, the original runner of the marathon, will be able to push through this barrier because they are chasing their dream. Some people experience the wall and say 'I can't go any further', while others see it as a challenge to greatness.

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DISCO DAN THE LADIES MAN
A couple of quick tips from Dan as we near the 'party' season at the end of the year:

" Remember if you're going to head out for a few drinks with your friends, just keep an eye on each other. At most parties, bars and nightclubs there is no shortage of guys on the lookout for girls who are a bit under the weather and vulnerable."

"I know I've mentioned it before, but keep an eye on those drinks of yours, there's a few nasties getting around that guys can drop into your drink that can really knock you around. It's probably not a bad idea to read back through the 'Date rape drug' article in our archived section of the web site."

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FROM YOU THE CREW
Hey, come on guys I'm sure there are lots of great stories floating around out there, drop us a quick e-mail and bring us up to speed. Keep an eye out on Today Tonight during the week as they are running a feature on my seminars and have spoken with a couple of women who have used our strategies to get out of some really tight situations. In the mean time drop us a line so we can slot it into this segment next month.
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PEARLY ONES FROM THOSE WHO'D KNOW
'If you do what you like, you're in trouble. If you like what you do you're a success.'

'Take care of your reputation. It's your most valuable asset.'

'It's no use saying, "We are doing our best." You have to succeed in doing what is necessary.' - Winston Churchill

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The "Back Off" Newsletter is published by
Winning Edge Strategies PO BOX 1879 BONDI JUNCTION NSW 2022 Phone: 02 9665 1312 Fax: 02 9665 1612
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